Top 17 James Veitch Quotes

I think of the spam folder not as Pandora‘s box but as a costume shop in which you can play and play at being whoever and whatever you wish. If only for a time.

A lot of people see scammers as, like, just one guy in a basement with his computer, but actually, I think it’s probably almost kind of a call centre.

I had an awkward moment when I got a phone call from the person pretending to be Winnie Mandela. ‘Winnie’ sounded about 12 years old, unfortunately – she‘d probably been pushed to the telephone because she was the only one who spoke English.

I get a ton of scam emails. But instead of deleting them, I decided to hit reply.

I just feel so upset when I think of all the lost years when I could have been doing stand-up gigs.

Just remember: if ever you feel weighed down by the bureaucracy and often mundanity of modern life, don’t fight the frustration. Let it be the catalyst for whimsy.

I do bits about dating but mainly about what I did and how incompetent I am, not any genuine people writing to me.

The Internet gave us access to everything; but it also gave everything access to us.

I’ve sent thousands of emails – the conversations in the book are just the success stories.

I’d really like to be able to whistle with two fingers. Is this a biological thing? Is it to do with the teeth? Who teaches people to do this? How do I learn?

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to be mean to the scammers. There are lots of people online who do that. I’m content merely having fun inventing, and I figure any time they’re spending with me is time in which they’re not scamming vulnerable adults out of their savings.

I suspect I wasn’t loved enough as a child.

Crazy stuff happens when you start replying to scam emails. It’s really difficult, and I highly recommend we do it.

People say we live in an age of information overload. Right? I don’t know about that, but I just know that I get too many marketing emails.

Most scams are absurd – so absurd that one wonders how anyone falls for them at all; yet if no one falls for them, how do the scammers make money?

Some of the best scams that you get are the ones that pretend to come from friends of yours, because you can just say anything you want, because a scammer has no idea about your relationship with that person.

My hobbies are playing piano and guitar, pining for girls, worrying about climate change, pining for girls, and the poetry of John Keats.