Top 20 Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

Every heckler is unique because they say something, and you react to what they say or what they’re wearing or who they’re with, so every response to a heckle is unique.

The more comfortable I got onstage, the more comfortable I got expressing myself in a physical manner. And it almost shocked people – ‘Oh, is there something happening?’

Sometimes it’s cool to have banter with the audience. Occasionally, somebody will say something, and I’ll say something right back, and everybody laughs, and it’s funny.

I go to Vegas now, and I’m in the casino, and I’m gambling, and there’s a guy in a wet bathing suit gambling right next to me.

People come to a show, then they go back to their neighborhood, and it has become like word-of-mouth. Everybody loves to turn somebody on to something. It kind of just snowballed.

I grew up in an immigrant household with an Italian father who came to the U.S. when he was 15.

The business of being told to earn a dollar, that no one is going to give you anything – that was kind of my mantra throughout my childhood, and now it’s in my adult life. I find that people really tend to relate to the immigrant father, whether he be Italian, Greek, Spanish or whatever.

I’ll never stop doing stand-up. There’s nothing better than getting in front of 2,500 people and making an entire room laugh.

My mother saw the magazine, and she was like, ‘You made it.’ I’ve been on Showtime and Comedy Central, but none of that matters – all that matter is that she sees me in ‘People!’

If I can relate to the joke, it’s going to be funny.

We grew up in a middle-class family in Chicago. Even when we went on vacation as a family, it wasn’t a really fun time, because my father didn’t want to spend any money when we got there.

When I was growing up, we dressed up for church.

Growing up in an Italian family, we used our body to convey a message.

Everybody seems to be wasting their time online. There is such a narcissistic attitude. It’s such a strange world.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guy’s wearing flip-flop sandals, which I don’t understand. Men‘s feet are disgusting to begin with, but now they’re on display when I try to go out for a nice steak at a restaurant, and I have to sit there and look at some guy’s hoof? I don’t get it. I don’t understand it.

My idea of fun would be to review the customers. I could give some customers one star, so that restaurateurs would know when they walked in not to serve them.

I like Las Vegas because it kind of gives me a chance to gauge my material in front of a very diverse group of people. There are a lot of different people in the audience, and you can kind of get a barometer for how your material plays throughout the country.

You go into Wal-Mart, and you see stuff you typically wouldn’t see anywhere else.

I developed a knack for storytelling early on around the kitchen table with my family. I just happen to be a funny guy.

It took me a good eight to ten years to really formulate what I was doing onstage and start to get really personal with comedy. I always really had timing naturally, it was just about trying to figure out how that timing was going to work onstage.