Top 50 Jim Norton Quotes

Communicate and just be open with each other. Have an unpleasant talk once in a while so it does not turn into a festering resentment, which is inevitable. It has happened with every girlfriend I have ever had.

Being ‘edgy‘ is not just cursing. There are some things socially that are just not acceptable to make fun of. Anything with race, they really won‘t let you do on TV unless it’s completely soft.

Regular people are the problem. It’s not the government, it’s not the invasive Big Brother, it’s the fact that we’re a nation of snitches and nosey people who then cry when somebody wants our personal information. I’m talking about people who are being voyeuristic to people’s privacy.

You just have to believe in what you’re saying and be able to explain why you said it. There’s nothing I say that I can’t back up or at least explain why I came to that conclusion, so I’m not afraid of getting in trouble.

Being a harsh, dirty comic, the last person on earth I ever expected to help my career was Jay Leno. I had always thought of performing on ‘The Tonight Show‘ as an unachievable goal, because I bought into the myth that only squeaky clean, family-friendly material would be welcome there.

Well, audiences will laugh at a lot of things that comedians won’t.

It’s not a hard job, radio or standup, there are hard parts of it, sure. There are guys who do ten hours of construction a day don’t want to hear me talk about my job being difficult. Compared to what a lot of people do, this is genuinely easy.

If somebody said about me, ‘I don’t think his jokes are good, I don’t think he‘s a good comedian,’ I don’t like to read that but that’s a fair thing to say.

I don’t think any comedy is ever shocking. I don’t buy that. That’s just what people brand it, when someone is saying something they don’t like.

Anything you can do that’s self-destructive in Vegas, whatever that is, I do it.

The more disgruntled the white people are, the happier they are to see me, that has to be it. I do really well in Boston, I do really well in Cleveland, I do really well in Philly, Jersey, certain parts of Florida. Places where there are really really aggressive white people tend to love me.

Here’s the rule of thumb: When the entire family looks like the unibomber, they’re against gay marriage.

A lot of times the mainstream public loves something, critics will hate it and then they’ll think the public is stupid and they’re above the public.

I think people like to label everything. I just think it’s comfortable.

No matter how many books I’ve sold, nothing can correct the fact I look like Alfred Hitchcock from the side.

I never care if the audience groans.

People say that Americans trends are transient, but the one activity we never seem to tire of is being outraged. Boy, do we love it!

I love Philly so much. I know that at any time, any place, a fight can break out. Those are great comedy fans.

With ‘Mouthful of Shame,’ all of my fans or the majority of them said it’s the best thing you’ve ever done and that meant a lot because as you go on with time, if they’re still really enjoying it, that means you’re getting better.

The image people have of comedians staring defiantly over a stationary line of good taste is simply inaccurate. We don’t approach this line, put our toes over it arrogantly and then scamper back to safety. The line doesn’t exist.

You can’t worry about saying something that will get you in trouble because the line changes so fast. If you try to navigate it, you will not only suck but eventually say something stupid and get yourself dumb anyway.

I’m a much nicer guy than people think I’m going to be.

Everyone has a reason why their particular sacred cow is the sacred cow to be honored.

You know, a comedian’s comedian is just that – it’s a guy who’s original and funny and can make comics laugh.

I get bored really fast.

You can’t apologize for who you are on a stage, you can reveal who you are but don’t apologize because that’s begging the audience to turn on you.

I like being single.

Comedians want honest discussion because it affects us. We make our living talking, so anything around language affects us greatly.

It’s nice to have funny friends. I like watching my friends perform.

I don’t really like Phil Robertson and I think his opinion about gay marriage is stupid. But in a country where we want an honest conversation, we have to realize that part of the honest conversation is hearing things we don’t like and discussing them.

I date but nothing really long term. I haven‘t had much luck. I probably haven’t met the right woman. Most probably know to stay away from me.

If the show is going really well and the comedian is still annoyed with the audience, chances are he’s a Boston comic. That’s the beauty of Boston comics.

Google is not my friend. I’ve been way too open in my career. Google has killed any shot I have on the dating apps.

I have exposed so much of my own real life. Like I feel like I always try to be honest and I always try to talk about where I am at and what I want.

If I’m gonna make fun of Trump, I’m gonna tell you things that I’ve done that are similar. I like to tell on myself, as well as make fun of the people I’m talking about. I feel like it gives me more of a right to make fun of them if I am talking about myself, too. It’s more fun for me that way, honestly.

I like to keep busy, because otherwise I’d be languishing by myself.

A lot of racism is paternalism. A lot of people hide their own racism because they treat blacks, minorities and other groups like children because deep down they feel superior and better than these people. And they don’t feel like they should just treat a guy like a guy.

I get away with 10 times more on ‘Leno’ than I would on any other show.

It’s fun to pick the worst jokes you can think of.

If someone doesn’t like a comedian that’s fine; a lot of people probably don’t like my standup, and that’s fine. But I think that the problem is people want you to get in trouble. That’s the issue.

I know I’m funny, and I like to be in front of people, and the fact that I’m good at that. It’s the one thing that gave me self-esteem.

I think what’s happening is that women are allowed to be funnier as we stop pretending that there are subjects that they shouldn’t address.

I got really lucky that at age 12, I knew I just wanted to be a dancing monkey in front of people and entertain them, or try to. It’s amazing that at age 12 I realized what a needy life I was gonna have.

I don’t worry about the crowds agreeing with me anymore. I want them to laugh and have a good time, but I think they can disagree with you and still enjoy it.

I hate a well-lit room.

I love doing the radio, and it’s different every day. But stand-up is just you and the immediate reaction of the audience. So I love both.

Every comic says things that are going to offend someone, so we all have to defend each other with this stuff.

I am a really bad boyfriend.

It’s really hard to truly want people who you hate to have the right to say whatever they want. And we all disguise the ugly self-centeredness of it.

I’m not really great at writing things down unless for a roast or a particular event.